/ kiss // crush / killed // blow

Sat, 11 Dec 2004 22:57:07 GMT

SUNDAY DECEMBER 12th 2004 @ BALCONY LIGHTS

Bob Nana (previous Braid, Hey Mercedes, The Sky Corvair, City on Film...)
The Elegance Of Railway Travel (amazing acoustic duo)
and a special performance by STEVE (you know him you love him)*

* thats me :)

Shopping List

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 07:20:10 GMT

Tell Panda Claus what presents you want for Christmas, and if you were a good boy or girl, maybe you will get a surprise under the tree. Oh! Are you excited!

Here comes Panda Claus! Here comes Panda Claus! Right down Panda Claus Lane! He's got a bag that is filled with toys for the boys and girls again. Hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle, What a beautiful sight! Jump in bed, cover up your head, 'Cause Panda Claus comes tonight!!!

i could never be your woman

Thu, 18 Nov 2004 19:38:30 GMT

so i got a new cell phone, it rules! its the newer version of my old one. old one as in the one i lost on tour. now you can get ahold of my like old times... whenever you want, or whenever i feel like awnsering <345 4 DAY WEEKEND!

umm, my week went by so fast. yeppers, hot like leppers? no, thats peppers steve, pep-purrs. mmm, kittens.

POTLUCK! POT LUCK! P O T L U C K ! ! !

Now I know your heart, I know your mind,
You don't even know you're being unkind,
So much for all your high brow Marxist ways,
Just use me up and then you walk away.
Boy, you can't play me that way.

Well I guess what they say is true,
I could never spend my life with a man like you.
I could never be your woman.

Sun, 14 Nov 2004 19:40:25 GMT

skibibopbop shobedowop

jason is tall, lindsay is sitting, and melissa ruins all.

the end.

<3california

Sun, 07 Nov 2004 17:49:09 GMT

ljs ptay last nite was rediculous. it was a high school reunion of kids i havent seen since senior year, some i havent seen since i last played ball (which reminds me of how many people ive met / know from playing) some of the guys go back almost 6 years. his dad was hella awesome. and the dog kept jumping in the pool. i was drinking beer, decided to stop cause i wasnt in the mood. then marsh showed up with the jack, and after many attempts turned down, i gave in, and jack is my only friend. and that is that. kids i havent seen in ages, kids that i use to see almost everyday to random run ins at partys.

the work week begins, but im stoked, i have a split shift today. so ill get some rest tonight, hopefully. my week will consist of me hanging out at work all day waiting for thursday - saturday aka the weekend of awesomeness

also, since i wont be able to probably talk about it till after its done...
Happy Birthday Joan Adams - Happy Birthday Lindsay Beck

I <3 Music

Sat, 06 Nov 2004 23:04:59 GMT

So I am such a dork / idiot, but I am excited! And this is why...

Next Weekend!!!
ISIS / These Arms Are Snakes in Hollywood CA, Friday Nov 12th @ the Troubadour
ISIS / These Arms Are Snakes in Ventura CA, Saturday Nov 13th @ the Loft

Also! I bought hella merch online, and I am way STOKED. 27, Pelican, Isis, and Radiohead.

thisisbeyondsweet. also, tonight for dinner, Pad Thai. I just kicked my sisters ass in scrabble, and she was way pissed. cause i rule in scrabble, or i should say im good, at kicking ass! and thats that. i got my cd player installed in my car, thats awesome. hmm, im gonna go. :) im in a good mood today, then again, maybe its cause i swoon like a lil kid.

<3 Stephen Peek <3

"Hi, I am Geoge Dubya Bush... GO TEXAS!!!

Fri, 05 Nov 2004 19:03:36 GMT

i can fucking cut glass, its so god damn cold.

shes rough around the edges, but no way a diamond in the rough. but if you need to find a needle in the hay, she will be the first to cross her heart and hope to find. waves crash against her thighs like perfection waiting to be found, as if hes beautiful or breath taking like the sea... only a silly lil boy crushes on voyages yet to be taken.

jameson just called, i should really go take care of the shit i wanted to do today. like start a revolution. call it operation enduring freedom, the agenda to kill the terrorist, that be the united states obviously. red white and fucked up, my country tis of thee, wait who fucking cares.

Democracy: Government by the people.
Justice: Upholding of what is true.

fuck or be fucked

Sun, 31 Oct 2004 23:33:54 GMT

i slept like a baby. intoxicated, high as a kite... it felt like summer. it felt like lonliness. fuck me please, or let me fuck you for christ sake. give me your all, tell me you want to slit my throat and ill tell you i want you to be happy. take take take... a glove, a sock, a tie, a drunken boy at your feet. will you ever remember my name? and i will speak of you as my savior if you accept me as your tool, who would have thought god would be so damn demanding. this is not a test, this is a relapse.

neutral milk hotel in the aeroplane over the sea will remind me of tour, will remind me of who i am, will remind me of the life i love will remind me of how this is how i die.

ranty rant rant. i have so much anger towards certain things in my life, who whould have thought it would be so unhealthy.

my life has been consumed by music. music has taken over my life yet again, who would have known. D@#($%%@)# has filled my familar emptiness yet again, i am complete, but like always i have my self absorbed lj to rant in, also i have excuse to see / do the things i love most... seriously, who would have known.

there is a war going on, another death to be tallied. there is a girl raped, becoming another victim in statistics. theres some kid hiding sexual confusion, another skeleton in the closet. theres something going on somewhere adding to something... bye bye cookie.

Thu, 28 Oct 2004 08:19:18 GMT

so my icon is of the pigeon that rocked on tour when we stopped and got some hamburgers at this hamrurger joint in tacoma, that was a year ago... tvmuh winter tour and it was way cold. it was awesome, amazingly awesome.

i wonder what to do with my weekend, i was thinking that it would be awesome to ignore everyone, cause thats how we do in the nlv. or, i could masturbate on everyones face, aka see everyone that i could possibly want to see or fuck; preferably the latter.

* fucking is flattery *

i wish i was max ficsher. i wish i went to rushmore academy. i wish my sister wasnt up at one o clock in the morning yelling in the phone. i wish i was more like consey wonsey. wait, why is she up this late. she wonders if she should call some boy, who proabably is a douche patty. i wish i had a piece of ass, or maybe i piece of pie; bannana cream, apple, penis, its all the same. today i trained some dude named DARKO who has a twin bro name DAVOR! dudes are duders with dudeins, kind of. why are girls so ridiculous. why is it that my ideas are distorted with sex and drugs. my sister has to call stephanie back. why are boys full of deception and horrible, once again, horrible lies. why do girls affect how the world goes round and how do boys make the world go round. my sister is hella on crack, not really tho. my sister just asked, hey do you think ill die in my sleep. theres 100 dollars in front of me, and a water bottle. bill clinton is coming to towm on friday. he cant see you winking. water is healthy for you, and so am i; so drink me up. id pour a cup for two but the law says i need a license. my so called life is on, this is so awesome. the new jimmy eat world video is on, the new album rocks, i love this single, the girl in it has a good swagger. swagger reminds me of the murder city devils.

p9ytwiqbc9408132-`FVs 042u-9uxkm\RWQPI1Iihi
hviU9SB=u=03=9028-49ty537pi2=046q=0ta c F

ranting in a fucking cold ass house

Wed, 27 Oct 2004 17:03:06 GMT

and you will be the death of me, and i will be the reason for you living... or we could just go get some sandwhiches, that would be delicious. growing up has become my favorite hobbie, holding on to things of the past has become my greatest weakness. when i smile, i feel beautiful, knowing that i am okay with ignoring how fucked up shit really is :) see how pretty i am. on a sidenote... is it dark? can we read it? well can you paraphase it?

la la la la la la la la la means i love you... and a do do do a da da da means i will punch you in the face.

autumn

Wed, 20 Oct 2004 00:04:05 GMT

i feel so high right now, but im not. i just feel good. today was the first cold day, clouds ready to burst, a sun trying to hide... it was way nice. and what a better way to top a bad ass day, but with bad ass things to do like...
Lahaina and the UNLV Liberry / Balcony Lights and a Paul chit chat about nonsense, listening to the new TOM WAITS CD, and getting advance screening tickets to I <3 Huckabees / IN N OUT Lunchdate and Jameson joining at the end / Fashion Show Mall and a new Sweater from the Gap / a drive home with light showers with Minus the Bear, a huge blow up slide thats the Titanic - way funny / come home to a warm house with the smell of hot chocolate, delicious / now this, and that... <3<3<3

sews... tomorrow movie, and maybe some shit to do.

Balcony Lights October 29th Halloween Show!!!
Of Faith and Fire
Ego
DECEMBERS END
!!! WEAR A FUCKING COSTUME !!!

stop, its too late. im feeling frustrated.

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 21:24:52 GMT

i think of who the fuck knows, smiles, desperate attempts of deception... after the denial, the acceptence and the 1 year war between incest and blame. maybe i am not the blame, the fault. maybe i am the cause, the reason for the revolution needed to take place. so what, i fucked you up, me up, us up, who else? thanks for standing tall, confidence is key; home is where your friends are, and your heart is the only one who will stay true, thats my attepmt of summing up all battles and wondering thoughts. and if what has been said can erase whats to be done, then i can catch the rabbit. and this, my savior, my strongest voice, my most convincing. and that, my demons, my weakness, my failures. pride and good luck... gods speed. and youd think times would change, and they have. my new obsessions of the line drawn within, of what could possibly be; what is possible? time, a waste of energy. energy, a waste of time. new toys, new drugs, new friends, new loves - enemies within. and yadi yadi da and a big fucking yeehaw... meet me over seas, in a place unfamilar, and take the best memories, still framed perfections. im getting to old for this shit. rule number one, we will speak nothing of this. rule number two, we will make nothing of this. rule number three, we will take nothing from this. <3 cut and paste here <3

ps. see you in _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ?

i just sneezed

Sun, 17 Oct 2004 17:51:36 GMT

and then there was work. this fucking sucks... now im working on the weekend, how the hell am i suppose to find a new romance?

THIS CANT BE!

Sunday October 17, 2004... I feel like shit.

breaking down

Sun, 17 Oct 2004 06:13:54 GMT

[skcus kcis gnieb]

one day im gonna grow wings a chemical reaction hysterical and useless
(you know where you are)

edit. it is now 11:14. it took me over and hour to make this post. and now you know how i work... written text is indeed an art to be perfected. and how ironic, i quote ones that are not mine.

Sat, 16 Oct 2004 17:25:02 GMT

last nite = good clean fun.

)!*#&$* tried to make me her boyfriend, she denies it, but psh...

zann = yowsers.

something in the process of being awesome, and i hope it happens. its gonna be way sweet. so if you know what im talking about, please... shh.

TEAM AMERICA:WORLD POLICE
4:30 Village Square, be there or be fucking box like thingy.

givemoregivebloodgiveeverything

Sat, 16 Oct 2004 00:27:44 GMT

i<3u, and ill always keep my distance on the couch... in a very pg13 kind of way. but please, lets do lunch again sometime?

show tonight with the intentions of good fun. movie possibly? my oh my, mother what has gotten in to you. but hey, who knows anything these days. allsiknowsisthis...
yes youu (5:08:07 PM): dont get off until im done!

ps. apparently some people think my face is like a funny girl. i would like to clear up some rumors... its fucking not!

sewing: a needle and thread.
thread: what you keep my hanging by, and let me tell you... its fucking impressive.
impressive: <3<3<3
<3<3<3: sticking a needle in my eye.
eye: what sews images of you as love.
love: a dagger, knife, sword, some type of blade that you use to cut your throat, cause thats the only way you will be silenced.
silenced: the only way you look cute.
cute: what i want us to be.
us: non-existing.
non-existing: god
god: haunting yet unfamilar.
unfamilar: you making me smile.
smile: when you show your teeth.
teeth: what i use to bite down.
down: where i belong on you.
you: refer to us.*

the anticipation

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 05:21:33 GMT

"When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew..." And this is what it comes down too. Anyone, someone... please?

-I don't care Bill. I love her.
-How perfect for you - to take whatever you want because it pleases you. That's not love.
-Then what is it?
-Some aimless infatuation which, for the moment, you feel like indulging - it's missing everything that matters.
-Which is what?
-Trust, responsibility, taking the weight for your choices and feelings, and spending the rest of your life living up to them. And above all, not hurting the object of your love.
-So that's what love is according to William Parrish?
-Multiply it by infinity, and take it to the depth of forever, and you will still have barely a glimpse of what I'm talking about.
-Those were my words.
-They're mine now.

<3whoever<3

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 01:10:58 GMT

ROCK N ROLL MOTHER FUCKERS!

EAT, DRINK AND BE MERRY. FOR TOMORROW WE MAY DIE.

HOT DAMN!

IF YOU DONT HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, DONT SAY IT AT ALL.

upon popular belief, you do not shake modern day polaroid pictures.

Sat, 09 Oct 2004 02:29:14 GMT

i hung out with lin today. went to lunch, shopped around, heard the same songs like always. looked at shoes, looked at lingerie together, held hands and pretented like we were married <3

CONVERGE ROAD TRIP!!! Las Vegas, NV - Encinitas, CA 2004!!!
Jameson, Adam, Jason, Lahaina, Amanda, Paige, Lindsay and I. We will rock the van like no other. I havent been, like really been in the van since tour, a lot of memories in that beast, time to make more.

sidenote, i got a really cool new toy.

im fucking way stoked.

edit*
i need you to be the strength of widows and soul survivors. i need you to be as fearless as new mothers and new fathers. i need you to be the hope of hearts who lost true love, i need you to be the might of their first kiss. i need a purpose and i need a reason. i need to know that there is trophy and meaning
to all that we lose and all we fight for, to all our loves and our wars.

my mood icon is so awesome!

Tue, 05 Oct 2004 05:45:34 GMT

my neck is killing me. i have 34 buddys online, and all i talk to is mike, its a beautiful thing. i like mike, kinda :) i wonder what i should be doing right now. i could read, write, play, think... i tried talking on the phone but that made me think the world was gonna end. so how bout mt st helen, awesome! kinda... jives just signed on. my sister likes the fan on, so do i. i sleep with the fan so theres some noise. i went to lindsays today. watched the mostest amazingest moviest, and she burned me two cds. jesus, melissa and lahaina imed me at the same time, but im not responding, fuck that shit, talking is so over rated, so is listening, its a slower less entertaning way to die. i think im gonna take a break to converse, we will continue. im back. im ghosting now, i hate aim, but i love it. im way to nice. im way to confused. the 3 day work week begins. i love it, and this weekend... aww yeah!!! i just gave in to lahaina, she has been victorious. i told melissa i found some new girl who is nice and cute so i cant call her tonight cause i gotta be a playa, Fragmentd ideas: I"LL FUCKING KILL HER - who is she - obviously im kiding - you can talk to whoever you like you ungrateful son of a bitch... and that is why i <3 her. for some reason i think about being a pirate. i wish i was a pirate, argh. my name would be button nose steve, the most lovable pirate in the 7 seas. but then people would find out that it was just an act to sleep with thier wifes and daughters, and then fathers would want to kill me, but how they gonna kill a babies daddy? lahaina has won round 2. and now everyone im talking too has signed off. im all alone, again. well i guess its bye bye.

secrets, dont make friends, but do make for good surprises... kinda.

Sat, 02 Oct 2004 11:05:38 GMT

and that was that my friends, amazing.
and for whatever, you are amazing.

i dont know what to say to you, and this is a first, and its amazing. maybe you have answers, maybe i have problems. i think i make no sense, this is an idea many seem to believe. i can convince anyone, but obviously not myself. i am comfortable, and many can agree, but like many i dont care about myself. also, on a sidenote that is not me ranting at 4 in the morn. my hair was soft tonight while insert name made me a pillow.

and in this, i hope to find emptiness.

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 16:34:24 GMT

and then there was this...

[thisvirusmakesUShuman]
!!!LASTSHOW!!!

Radiation 4, This Virus Makes Us Human w/ Off With His Head & Goose Down @ Balcony Lights 6:00 p.m. Be there fucking bright and early, you wont want to miss a thing, or maybe you will... I can't believe this is it, soon to be a goodbye. <3 < / 3 <3

Tue, 28 Sep 2004 06:13:32 GMT

Thier live's like autumn leaves. While the facade retrives, a blemish befalls, revealing ruined viens. They give and take in good taste like children; yet they use with good intentions. His lifesblood, ambitious to migrate, "Away with this blackend sky! Away with this cursed inferno!" His voice waves in and out of tune... "Away with the despair." Excuses in the key of reasons, failing to keep colour to par; blush adapts to solitude, secrecy, and seclusion. "Why? Please... explicate these ruins!" Her reply, "Do you remember? 'Til death do us part." And the eulogy will speak nothing of this.

like cherries

Sat, 25 Sep 2004 17:07:51 GMT

fact 1) if i were to take a drug test. i would not pass, i would not collect 200 dollars.
fact 2) if there is such thing as gaydar, im pretty sure it cannot detect eroused wangs from queer intentions, so i am in the clear.
fact 3) if you were my queen, id make you pancakes or something almost every morning. even eggs benedict if necesarry.
fact 4) if puppies are dogs , then sharks are in fact dinosaurs.
fact 5) if you feel that as i lay dying and underoath is sick ass death metal, i will cut off your tongue - ears - nose - then kill you.
fact 6) if you havent heard... this virus makes us human last show october 1st @ balcony lights w/ radiation 4

Fri, 24 Sep 2004 17:37:03 GMT

the new pig destroyer is heaven.
the new converge is still pretty like big blue eyes on the one and only jesus.

i fucking got paid, yeah yeah!

hmm, what to accomplish. i made a list of things to do this weekend. first thing first, shower. if anyone would like to join me doing stuff you dont want to do, or better yet has ideas of how i could join in on the action/fun... call me, it will be like dinner romances i swear. ill keep my hands to myself, unless if you are a underage male wearing hot pink pants. who do i want to see this weekend. as i go down the list of friends theres only one who is unposibly to chill with. i like that word. i dont like this new set up to l/j, to fuckin cluttered. hah! me complaining about cluttered. this murder is obsession of body and soul, a mind of consience chasing mines. i captivate wanting, a barren love acomplished. who the fuck said that? who cares. depression is so beautiful, in a very sick chaotic lonely way. maybe i need to shave, the answer to all problems... razor blades. mmm, delicious.

i got a new towel, im such a dork. the fill in the beginning of eagles become vultures is very much like jesus too, in the worth dying for kind of way.

converge tickets today, i hope <3<3<3